The Engorger: Part 5

It's late... again.
(Originally written 12/31/2007)

Luckily I have no work tomorrow.

My girlfriend is asleep behind me. She has this habit of needing to watch television in order to fall asleep. This normally doesn't bother me, but she asked if, since I was working, she could watch her new favorite movie. The Holiday. Again, this wouldn't bother me, except for the fact that we have watched it three times since she got it the day after Christmas. To make matters worse, she is passed out and it's still on.

The sad thing is I keep shooting glances at it every now and then.

I think I need to revisit my manhood and watch Transformers or something.

The Engorger: Part 4

The changing face of Political Correctness...?
(Originally written 12/27/2007)

So I was watching TV today, right, and I saw a commercial for the United Negro College Fund.

Now, stop me if I am wrong, but I thought calling black people or African Americans "Negroes" was considered archaic, insulting and very Politically Incorrect?

Then that got me to thinking. The NAACP is still referred to as the NAACP, which stands for the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. Now, I may be wrong on the "Negro" thing, but I know that African Americans take offense to being called "Colored People."

This could mean, in my mind, one of two things.

1) African Americans are too lazy to update the names of two of their most prominent organizations. This, I would hope, is not the case, seeing as how there is a terrible stereotype about black people and laziness that these two organizations are trying to abolish. Or...
2) It is okay to call African Americans "Negroes" and "Colored People."

This is really the only thing that works. I don't think that these two organizations are actually lazy, but that, deep down, they don't mind the terms Negro or Colored. I think it reminds them of the roads they travelled growing up and have a strange familiarity and comfortableness. I mean, why else, in this age of Political Correctness, would these two organizations still be associated with those terms?

It's really all that fits...

The Engorger: Part 3

Who likes the lottery?
(Originally written 12/23/2007)

You can scratch my girlfriend off that list.

On the spur of the moment I bought her one of those Crossword scratch-off lottery tickets. I give it to her, then come into the bedroom to finish wrapping Christmas presents and all of a sudden, she pops in the room and says "Should I just kiss you now?" I ask why and she says she won $100 on the lottery ticket. She looks it over six or seven times, and notices that she missed a letter. That would have been eight words, which is $500. That's when she started shaking.

She hands me the ticket and says, "Make sure I got this right." So, I write down all of the words, and sure enough, there was eight. She tells me to check the letters, so I start crossing them out of the words that I wrote down.

Until I get to the "Q."

Evidently, she mistook "Q" for "O."

Yeah, eight words went down to two words which, in the eyes of the New Jersey Lottery, equals shit.

I don't think I need to buy lottery tickets anymore.

The Engorger: Part 2

Holy crap...
(Originally written 12/20/2007)

Christmas is 5 days away. That's not a lot of time.

Fortunately, I'm almost done with my shopping. But I still have to get my sister a present. See, I knew what I wanted to get her. But by the time I got off my fat ass and went shopping, I couldn't find it. So now I get to think of something else, purchase it, wrap it, and give it to her in five days time.

Sweet Christ.

I still need to wrap everything I purchased, too. And get some stocking stuffers for my girlfriend.
Christmas takes too much energy.

The Engorger: Part 1

I think I need to get a Mac.
(Originally written 12/17/2007)

This piece of shit PC is really pissing me off.

Now, my laptop is not the best on the market, granted. But the fact that it takes 20 minutes to close a program is flat out ridiculous. No lie; twenty fucking minutes. To close it! I can understand taking 20 minutes to open a program (I wouldn't put up with it, but I'd understand it) but taking that long to close... Asinine.

All of this is on top of my experiences in the past. For example, I had made a 30 second 3D animation for school back in 2001. It was a cool little thing of a bumblebee in a flightcap zipping around the backyard set to a cool music mix of Edvard Greig's Morning Mood and the Vandals doing Flight of the Bumblebee. Yeah, I would put it up here for you all to see but, since my shitty PC crashed so many times, that no longer exists. Plus, there's the 30 minute movie that I made, starring my firends that took my three months to capture and edit. As soon as I got to the point of saying "This is done," gone, all because of my crap PC.

It's about time for me to switch. I think I'm going to start saving now and work on that by the end of 2008. That is, unless I don't slam my laptop against the wall first.